Negotiation Document The purpose of this document is to allow BDSM practitioners to state their preferences for various activities that they may not initially feel comfortable about discussing personally. It is intended to provide a method by which people can suggest activities and types of play to their partner or caution them about what sort of activities would not be acceptable. For each item, you need to provide two answers: * For experience, write YES or NO next to indicate if you have ever DONE that activity. Mark N/A if it does not apply to your gender. * For willingness, indicate for each item how you feel about DOING that activity by rating it on a scale of NO or 0 to 5. "?" means you don't understand what the item is attempting to describe. NO means you will NOT do that item under any circumstances (a hard limit). 0 (zero) indicates you have utterly no desire to do that activity and don't like doing it (or don't want to try it) (in fact, may loathe it) and would ordinarily object to doing it, but you would permit the Dominant to do it if it they really wanted it. (sometimes called a "soft limit"). 1 means you don't want to do or like to do this activity, but wouldn't object if it was asked of you. 2 means you are willing to do this activity (or would like to try), but it has no special appeal for you. 3 means you usually like doing this activity (or would like to try it), at least on an irregular/ occasional basis. 4 means you like doing this activity (or would like to try), and would like to experience it on a regular basis. 5 means the activity is a wild turn-on for you, and you would like (or would like to try) it as often as possible. * Mark with an asterisk (*) those items which you are willing to do only with your current sex partner(s), but not with casual play-partners. * Note any additional information or nuances which might be important for your Dom to know in the margin to the right. These may also include the following: B - means "I want to do this but I want to be 'made to beg' for it" D - means "I might like this, but I'd want to discuss it beforehand" F - means "I want to do this, but I want to be 'forced' into it" T - means "I might not actually want to do this, but I want to be 'threatened' with it if, for instance, I misbehave (or other stated criteria)" Very Light, Light, Moderate, Heavy, Severe - means how intensely you would like an activity to be performed on you or by you. There is intentionally some overlap between categories. Unless otherwise stated, the Sub is the recipient/target of the activity. Experience Willingness Notes & Nuances yes/no, NO or 0-5 Abrasion (sandpaper etc.) Age play (fantasy child/ baby) Anal sex Anal toys Anal toys (public, under clothes) Animal roles (dog/ pony play etc.) Arm & leg sleeves (armbinders) Ball stretching Beating (soft items - symbolic) Beating (soft items - for effect) Beating (thuddy - doesn't sting) Beating (stingy - canes etc.) Blindfolds (cloth) Blindfolds (leather/ rubber etc.) Being serviced (sexual - willing) Being serviced (sexual - unwilling) Being bitten Boot worship (giving) Bondage (light) Bondage (heavy) Bondage (multi-day) Bondage (public, under clothing) Breast/chest bondage Breast (Dom's) sucking/ worship Breast whipping Breath control Bruises Cages (locked inside of) Candle wax Caning Cells/Closets (locked inside of) Chains Chastity belts (short term) Chastity belts (multi-day) Chauffeuring (driving) Chores (domestic service) Clothes pegs Cock rings/straps Cock worship Collaring Ceremony Collars (worn in private) Collars (worn in public) Corsets (wearing casually) Corsets (trained waist reduction) Cross-dressing Cuffs (leather) Cuffs (metal) Dildoes Dirty talk (crude/ obscenities) Double penetration Electricity Enemas Enforced chastity Erotic dance (for audience) Examinations (physical) Examinations (knowledge) Exercise (forced/required) Exhibitionism (friends) Eye contact restrictions Face slapping Fantasy abandonment Fantasy rape Fear (being scared) Fisting (anal) Fisting (vaginal) Flame play Following orders Food play (cucumbers, sorbet...) Foot worship (giving) Forced dressing Forced masturbation Forced nudity (private) Forced nudity (around others) Forced servitude Full head hoods (Leather) Full head hoods (Rubber) Gags (ball gag) Gags (cloth) Gags (inflatable) Gags (phallic) Gags (rubber bit) Gags (tape) Gas Masks Gates of Hell (male restrainer) Genital sex Golden showers Hairbrush spankings Hair pulling Hair (plucking out) Harems (serving w/other subs) Harnessing (leather) Harnessing (rope) Having food chosen for you Having clothing chosen for you High heel wearing (regular heels) High heel wearing (extreme heels) High heel worship Homage with tongue (non-sexual) Homage with tongue (sexual) Hoods (not full head) Hot oils (on genitals) Housework (doing) Humiliation (private) Humiliation (public) Ice cubes Immobilisation Infantilism (treated as baby) Intricate (Japanese) rope bondage Interrogations Kidnapping (fantasy) Kneeling (at feet) Kneeling (on pencils/ rice etc.) Leather clothing Leather restraints Lectures for misbehaviour Licking (non-sexual) Licking (sexual) Lingerie (wearing) Manacles & Irons Manicures (giving) Masturbation (giving) Masturbation (receiving) Massage (giving) Massage (receiving) Medical scenes Modelling for erotic photos Mouth bits Mummification Name change (for scene) Nappies Nettles Nipple clamps Nipple clamps (under clothes) Nipple rings (piercings) Nipple play/"torture" Nipple weights Oral play (giving) Oral play (receiving) Over-the-knee spanking Orgasm denial Orgasm control Outdoor scenes Outdoor sex Pain (mild) Pain (medium) Pain (severe) Persona training (in scene) Phone sex (in private) Phone sex (at work/ in public) Piercing (temporary, play-pierce) Piercing (permanent) Prison scenes Prostitution (public pretence) Pony slave Punishment Scene Pussy/cock whipping Pussy worship Riding crops Riding the "horse" (crotch torture) Rituals Religious scenes Restrictive rules on behaviour Rubber/latex clothing Rope body harness Saran wrapping (clingfilm) Scarification Scratching - getting Scratching - giving Sensory deprivation Serving Serving as art Serving as ashtray Serving as furniture Serving as a maid Serving as waitress/waiter Serving orally (sexual) Sexual deprivation (short term) Sexual deprivation (long term) Shaving (body hair) Shaving (genital hair) Skinny-dipping Sleepsacks Slutty clothing (private) Slutty clothing (public) Spanking Speech restrictions (when, what) Speculums (Anal) Speculums (vaginal) Spiked Rollers Spitting Spreader bars Standing in corner Stocks Straight jackets Strap-on-dildos (sucking on) Strap-on-dildos (penetrated by) Strap-on-dildos (wearing) Strapping (full body beating) Striptease (performing) Suspension (upright) Suspension (inverted) Suspension (horizontal) Swallowing semen Swallowing urine Swapping (with one other couple) Swinging (multiple couples) Teasing TENS Unit (electrical toy) Thumbcuffs (metal) Tickling Trampling Triple penetration Uniforms Vaginal dildo Verbal humiliation Vibrator on genitals Vibrator on nipples Vibrator (penetration) Vibrator (anal penetration) Violet Wand (electrical toy) Voyeurism (watching others) Voyeurism (your Dom w/others) Video (watching others) Video (recordings of you) Water torture Waxing (hair removal) Wearing symbolic jewellery Weight loss Whipping Wooden paddles Wrestling (submissively) Wrestling (trying to win) Willingness quick-key: ? Don't understand this item. * I will do with current sex partner only. NO I WILL NOT DO that item under ANY circumstances (a hard limit). 0 No desire, don't like, will permit if special to Dom (a soft limit). 1 Don't want to do, but will. 2 Willing to do (or try), but has no special appeal. 3 Usually LIKE doing (or would like to try), on an irregular/ occasional basis. 4 LIKE doing (or would like to try), would like it on a regular basis. 5 WILD TURN-ON, would like (or would like to try) it as often as possible. Notes and nuances quick key: B - means "I want to do this but I want to be 'made to beg' for it D - means "I might like this, but I'd want to discuss it beforehand" F - means "I want to do this, but I want to be 'forced' into it T - means "I don't actually want to do this, but I want to be 'threatened' with it if, for instance, I misbehave (or other stated criteria)" Very Light, Light, Moderate, Heavy, Severe - means how intensely you would like an activity to be performed on you or by you. Targets The purpose of this is to allow the submissive to indicate any areas of their body which they would like the Dominant to concentrate on or avoid, either for medical reasons or personal preference. Willingness Notes & Nuances NO or 0 - 5 Hair Face Eyes Nose Mouth Ears Neck Shoulders Armpits Upper Arms Elbows Lower Arms Wrists Hands Fingers Palms of Hands Chest/ Breasts Nipples Abdomen Upper Back Lower Back Hips Penis (shaft) Glans/ Clitoris Foreskin/ Clit Hood Scrotum/ Labia Testicles/ Vagina Upper Buttocks Lower Buttocks Between Buttocks Anus Perineum Thighs (front) Thighs (rear) Thighs (inner) Knees Shins Calves Ankles Feet Toes Soles of Feet